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This business of adoption, or any parenting for that matter, is not for the fainthearted. I could string moments together like pearls, into a necklace of stories, that said that beauty and love triumph every time. I could only show the parts of our lives that celebrate happy endings, but I’d rather opt for honesty.

I have a tattoo on my arm, it’s large and bold. It’s a reminder to me of a who I want to be, and how I want to live. It’s from Deuteronomy and it says -You shall love the Lord your God, because to me, I want to walk in a way that celebrates the God I love. I have another quote that I have loved since I was a small girl- when I started reading biographies because my mom would only allow a certain amount of fiction books in my arms at a time. THIS one, my darling husband says I have been chanting from the womb. You know that famous quote from John Paul Jones? “Surrender-I have not yet begun to fight!” Well, that’s how I feel about parenthood. Both of those ideas actually.

Some moments there are rainbows and unicorns raining flowers and glitter.  But many more moments right now are requiring Chris and I to show up with our adulting pants on. We have three teenagers in a major life transition. We are grafting a different culture and 16 years of history into our family unit. This is not easy. But I will tell you that in the midst of a really hard moment, I looked deep inside my heart and found the answer that I would not have it any other way. I am beautifully happy in the midst of a turbulent storm of hard questions and hard answers and hard emotions. There are some days that I ask God to hold my arms up, like he did for Moses in the midst of a battle, because I am so tired, and I need the courage to keep wading in.

I am really proud of my two men who are forging a path of trust and security with our newest. Chris and Aidan are blazing a trail that is full of pitfalls, and Aidan especially, is discovering gold within himself that he did not know was there. But his momma did. I knew he was a bridge builder and a peace maker. I knew both of my men were wells of compassion and strength.

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And I also knew that my youngest is a fighter. Sometimes her loyalty takes a while to earn, but when it is won, she will fiercely protect her own. One of my favorite moments was when Chloe found out that three girls at school were giving Mafe a hard time, and there was suddenly 78 pounds of ticked off girl power in the front seat.

Signing off. Keep up the good work parents.

 

 

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